A couple of weeks ago, I took a taxi to a shopping center near where I live in Bangkok. As usual, I greeted the taxi driver with a smile but the driver just ignored and with a unhappy voice asked where I wanted to go. So I told him to the Future Park Rangsit. His first response was it was going to be a long journey because the traffic is very bad on the main road. To comfort his irritation, I said it is ok and I am not in a hurry. His face relaxed a little. What followed was not expected at all.
He started his barrage of criticism of our present society, the state of our economy, of corruption. It went on forever. I was feeling uncomfortable. What would elevate the situation to a more amicable one? I decided to be a good listener for the time being. The listening did help me to relax and be more patient towards his concerns. The listening also helped me to be more positive where I directed myself towards a solution to the situation.
As he was finishing a sentence about the stagnant nature of the taxi fare, I jumped in and asked him a question. What do you like about your life? He looked at me with a stare, his face relaxed, a smile appeared. He went on to talk about his family, his son who will graduate from a very reputable university in May this year, a daughter in high school and the best part of it all is they live together in the outskirts of Bangkok. He never stopped talking about his family. The sound of his voice was filled with emotion, happiness, joy and throughout the rest of the drive, there was a smile on his face.
I was glad that I did not criticize him when he started complaining. Everything ended with so much happiness and goodwill. All this happened only because I asked him the positive question “what do you like about your life?”.
Such a strategy can also be used when somebody is very negative in an office environment. Just find a question where your colleague is likely to answer in a positive way, and you will see the change of mood and climate.
